When addressing family conflicts involving children, it is common for adults to dominate the conversation, overlooking the fact that children are not merely passive observers. In reality, they are often caught in the middle of the conflict and deeply affected by the emotional turbulence it creates.
Recognising this, it is essential to uphold children’s right to be heard and actively involved in matters that concern them. This is not merely a moral imperative but also a legal obligation under Article 12 of the Convention on the Rights of the Child, which guarantees every child the right to freely express their opinions on issues affecting them, with due weight given according to their age and maturity.
To ensure this right is meaningful, children must receive information that is age-appropriate, easy to understand, and sensitive to both gender and cultural contexts. In the context of family mediation, mediators should therefore adopt child-centred approaches – using accessible language and providing child-friendly resources. These strategies create a supportive environment in which children feel genuinely respected, heard, and acknowledged. Above all, they enable children to participate meaningfully in decision-making, leading to outcomes that serve the child’s best interests.
Before children can meaningfully participate in mediation, they first need to understand what is happening and why. For many, the idea of joining a mediation session can feel confusing or even intimidating. Children may notice that something in the family needs resolving, but they often feel uncertain, anxious, or unsure about what lies ahead in an unfamiliar setting. This makes it essential for mediators to use language that is clear, age-appropriate, and free from complex legal jargon—words that children can genuinely understand and engage with.
This kind of language should be simple, specific, and tailored to the child’s age, emotional maturity, and cognitive development. For younger children, difficult concepts can be presented in approachable ways, such as through metaphors or storytelling. Older children and teenagers may benefit from language that encourages deeper reflection and self-expression. Equally important is the tone: it should be patient and reassuring, letting children know that their feelings are valid and that they are accepted.
In addition, gender- and culture-sensitive language is crucial to ensure that all children feel respected and included. Mediators should avoid assumptions or stereotypes that may be inappropriate or offensive to children from diverse cultural backgrounds. Likewise, gender-sensitive language allows children of all gender identities to feel recognized and respected, using neutral terms where appropriate and avoiding expressions that reinforce traditional gender roles.
Even when the right language is used, building trust takes time. Mediators should start by getting to know the child, gradually moving on to more serious topics. Asking about daily activities—school, hobbies, or favorite games—can help children feel at ease. Open-ended questions, such as “How are you feeling today?” or “Is there anything you need right now?” demonstrate empathy and show that the mediator genuinely cares about the child’s well-being.
Throughout the process, the mediator should treat the child with compassion and respect. Before beginning questions about the dispute, mediators must carefully explain why the process is taking place and how it will proceed. According to national law, informed consent should also be obtained from both the parents and the child themselves.
Ultimately, child-friendly language is not just about simplifying vocabulary. It is about presenting information in a way that respects a child’s age, emotional state, and capacity to comprehend. Using such language is the first step toward helping children feel safe, involved, and open to sharing their true thoughts and feelings.
As noted, mediators should incorporate specially designed child-friendly materials into their practice to make children more comfortable and to enhance their understanding of complex issues. These materials can take many forms, including brochures, videos, and printed or digital resources. They serve as reference points for children, allowing them to revisit information shared by a parent or mediator and formulate any questions or concerns for follow-up discussions.
What do such materials look like in practice? Organizations such as the Child Rights International Network, Save the Children, and Queen’s University Belfast have developed a guide that provide clear instructions for creating child-friendly documents. Key features of such documents include:
- A font of at least 12 pt
- Clear, simple language
- Short sentences
- Explanations of difficult words
- Appropriate, colorful images
Beyond facilitating comprehension, these design elements help children process information at their own pace and foster a sense of familiarity and security in an otherwise unfamiliar environment. However, child-friendly documents are more than just visual aids—they form the foundation for meaningful engagement, creating an environment in which children feel informed, respected, and empowered to participate.
- Bridging the Gap: How Child-Friendly Materials Empower Young Voices
There are numerous examples of how child-friendly materials are being effectively integrated in mediation practices across Europe and beyond. For instance, in Australia, Bayside Mediation provides a wide range of accessible, child-friendly books and factsheets that parents can download to make their children aware of the mediation process. Similarly, Bendigo Mediation, also based in Australia, offers child-friendly and age-appropriate materials in its child-inclusive mediation model. In these sessions, a specially trained child consultant engages with children using creative tools and simplified explanations to aid children to express themselves in the best way. Then, these insights are conveyed to the parents and the expert provides them with feedback and recommendations to ensure the child’s best interest.
At the European level, the Council of Europe has taken a leading role in promoting child-friendly justice. More so, the Council of Europe encourages its Member States to revise their national frameworks by incorporating child-friendly information at every stage of the legal and mediation processes. Likewise, although not mediation specific, the UNHCR has published a comprehensive guide on child-friendly procedures. This document provides practical guidance on how child-friendly information, materials and safety measures can be implemented to align with the rights of the child and their best interest. Although the guide’s primary focus is on refugee and asylum-seeking children, its ideas are very applicable in mediation settings, particularly when it comes to making sure that children’s rights and emotional well-being are upheld.
But how do such materials empower young voices? Child-friendly materials can serve as powerful tools to significantly increase the positive effects of mediation on children. By presenting information in clear, simple terms and visually appealing formats they remove ambiguity and facilitate children to comprehend the gravity of the dispute and the importance of mediation in resolving it. Additionally, when materials are designed with the use of color and illustrations, they can help reduce fear and anxiety. As a result, such resources can make children feel more comfortable and confident, encouraging them to express their feelings and views more openly. Above all, child-friendly materials foster a sense of equity and respect. Children become informed participants, as information is presented to them in a way they can truly comprehend. Furthermore, children gain a sense of empowerment, believing that they can influence decisions that impact their lives. This is why, child-friendly resources serve not only as educational tools, but as instruments that promote inclusivity and dignity.
- Looking Ahead: Making Mediation Truly Child-Centered
Even though child-friendly mediation has gained recognition globally, there is still considerable room for growth to ensure that mediation truly takes into account the child’s rights and best interests. Future efforts should concentrate on standardizing the use of age-appropriate resources across mediation services in different national frameworks, so that every child regardless of their cultural background, gender or religion has access to information that is understandable and engaging. Moreover, family mediators should be required to complete a specialised training with a focus on child rights, age-appropriate materials and child-friendly communication techniques. Beyond making information accessible, mediators should also be taught how to create emotionally safe environments where children feel comfortable sharing anything that burdens them. Additionally, it would be very beneficial if children are involved in approving child-friendly materials before they are utilized in mediation, as after all they should be aimed at facilitating them. This process would again reinforce the right of participation that is outlined in the Convention on the Rights of the Child. By embracing these changes, the mediation process can advance from merely including children to truly centering them, leading to more meaningful outcomes such as improved mental health and the restoration of healthier familial relations.